As a child, they used me in the Montauk experiments.
I wasn’t the only one, they used my brother too. They used a LOT of children, 250,000 of them, spread out over the various projects. So many of them died – this was a brutal project.
Montauk was not JUST about time travel – oh no.
Montauk was about mass mind control, hybrid breeding programs, remote viewing & the secret space program.
Montauk is the dragon coming out of the sea.
Like many children, I was highly psychic. Btw – I hate that word, it triggers me. It is an EVIL thing, denotes demonic hacking of the perfect design that was given to us all, from the very beginning. It is how the demonic realm backdoors our connection with God.
I plan on getting into this in-depth with you very soon.
I think a better word for psychic is psychotic – interesting how those two words are so similar. Certainly, in those days, there were plenty of psychopaths running around Montauk.
So, because of this, ahem, “ability” I was abducted, by both military and aliens – for decades. I have the implants, the marks, the photographs and the messed-up history to prove it. Aliens are another trigger word – they are NOT aliens, they are Satan’s seed.
They are certainly NOT your friend.
I have an alter that calls them “The Muppet Show.” Sadly, I heard just this week that “they” took out Jim Henson (so young, freakish death) because they thought he was mocking them.
Today, I am posting journal pages from June of 2015 when the memories were just beginning to surface. I will introduce you to Heidi – my little time traveler, and one of the first to surface. Written in stream-of-consciousness, I have been debating with myself how to publish this.
At first, I thought I should just publish Heidi’s story, and not bore you with the details.
Yet, if I do that, you will miss the journey to find Heidi.
The time travel part of this entry is riveting. Quantum physicists are just now barely scratching the surface of what Heidi calls memories. Boom.
For me, the internal struggle between present self and past alter is profound. As I read, I realized what I had to overcome! There’ s no way I could do this ALONE. My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, has been with me every step of the way.
I had to get past body memories, a censor – maybe even more than one. I had to leave behind a lifetime of identifying as a reasonable, educated rational woman, to discover that other people were sharing my body – not to mention that what I thought was fiction was real. That bizarre creatures that call themselves aliens are real and so was time travel!
WORSE YET? I had been exploited by all of it since I was a child and never even knew it!
I had to get past the implants. I had to overcome scar tissue from the electroshock that was so deep, that my body would discharge static every time a memory surfaced. I had to get past all of that to finally accept that the unacceptable did happen. That said, through it all, My Lord has been with me. He has NEVER left me, He has never forsaken me – and that will never change. He will be with me always.
For you, perhaps how time looks from Heidi’s point of view will be fascinating. I know it was for me! Over the past several years, I’ve been graced with one confirmation after another, that Heidi’s memories are indeed, a very accurate glimpse of the 4th dimension.
I have over the years, found several others inside that were used as time travelers. You might know one of them – her name is Murphy (used extensively in the 1980s)
Anyway, their story begins here, with Heidi.
For those trying to recover what the enemy has stolen, it is my prayer that as you read about this very difficult day three years ago? It will help you to know you are not alone.
To get the stream-of-consciousness out of your head on the page is powerful. If you do the work, the Lord will meet you. That said – please don’t go by yourself. Seriously, you need the Lord’s help, but you MUST ask for it.
If you are DID – please find the prayers on this blog – they are called “prayers for DID” or you can email me and I will send them to you. In the MIGHTY and powerful Name that is ABOVE all Names, Jesus Christ, I prophesy healing to you! YOU are so very important to Him, and He wants you healed even more than you want you healed!
Heidi thinks we should just lay it down the way it happened. I agree. We worked as a team that day, it was hard work, but birthing is like that. This is about Heidi being born from the past to the present.
If I add anything, you will see it like this – NOTE:
One Summer Day in the Life of a Recovering DID
Sunday, June 14, 2015
I hate it, but I have to do it. What is going on inside NEEDS a place to go.
What I HAD planned for today? Was to make jam from the gallons of mulberries that came from the tree outside my house. No way is this going to happen. I’ll freeze them, worry about it later.
I have anxiety. My mouth is dry, my entire body protesting a darkness that has no name. Oh, how I wish my heart would BE STILL! Doesn’t seem like that’s gonna happen either.
There are fireworks (and a freak show) going off inside and July 4th doesn’t happen for another two weeks! I’ve been up since 8am – two hours ago but feels like 50 years ago. Now that’s different! How come when things are good, it goes by too fast, and when it sucks, it takes forever?
(NOTE: Time perception is a field of study within psychology and neuroscience that refers to the subjective experience of time, which is measured by someone’s own perception of the duration of the indefinite and continuous unfolding of events.)
This internal concert HURTS. The back of my head (throbbing) my neck & throat are very stiff, and solar plexus area (aching, tingling, vibrating).
As the day progresses, I will journal – audit the body memories & inventory the thoughts passing through my mind as they unfold. I have given up on making sense of it for now, which in and of itself, brings relief.
Today, it’s a matter of receiving the information – and writing it out to acknowledge its presence.
(NOTE: For a DID – letting go is the beginning of freedom. Those little voices are crying to be heard, buried in the subconscious for decades. “Making sense” is futile – for starters, it’s not my memory, and for the alter trying to surface? It’s devastating. You push them away because they scare you, they kick against our programmed normalcy – which isn’t real anyway – it’s an illusion of “normal.” For years, I didn’t realize that these random odd moments were actually alters trying to tell me why they were in pain)
It has been days of this now – body memories running concurrently with a collage of information – images, thoughts and nowhere to go to “make sense,” and I hate that – no comfort zone, absolutely no frame of reference.
Some of it seems compressed in a zip-file, have no clue how to unpack it.
Many times over the past several days, my whole body shakes, I get dizzy, joints hurt, body feels cold – then hot, sometimes I get this odd sensation of being really short. Sometimes, sharp shooting pains everywhere – particularly my feet and ribcage. Get really hot – welts appear and disappear – even in the most awkward of places.
My fingers get tangled up when I try to type, periodic weeping – painful sobs from my belly feel as if they will strangle me – as my body heaves in anguish.
Just what exactly is happening here?
About a week ago – I met Heidi. Heidi wants me to know that she is a time-traveler.
Heidi was named Heidi because she goes to see grandfather (time).
As I attempt to unravel what she knows – it is very difficult because I don’t have a reference point nor even the words to explain it – it’s like groping around in the dark, trying to navigate something that I’ve never seen before.
Just this – wrap my head around the idea that somebody else is sharing my body?
A child shares my body. A child shares my body. WTF, a child, whom I have never met before, shares my body?
Okay – shaking/anxiety too much now, way too much.
Need to back away for awhile.
One hour later . . .about 11:30am
Still shaky – but a little better. This just swished through my mind . . .
How does anybody know what they know? More a less a DID who has been PROGRAMMED to know what they have been TOLD to know?
How does DID get past that to get to TRUTH?
“Epistemology” is the study of knowledge and justified belief. Just what exactly IS knowledge or “justified” belief? Particularly how this applies to DID and trauma-based mind control?
Just exactly what kind of “justified belief” takes a small child and tortures them until they split internally in order to use them in brutal experiments so “they” can gain MORE (demonic) knowledge (to do what, exactly)
Knowledge is useless without an application.
WHY??? SO MANY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYs??
WHY has my entire life, been a giant question? Why, since I was a child, been driven to find answers to questions I didn’t even know I had? WHY did I have a passion to read everything I could get my hands on – even a whole library of books before I was thirteen?
What drove me to do this?
At one point in my life, for a short while, I was a college professor – academic research is part of that. Yet, so many times, found myself falling down the research rabbit hole, but was not doing a study, nor was I writing a journal article.
The question remains – WHY was I DRIVEN to research like a junkie needing a fix? Why during these times of intense research have I been PELTED by the occult?
Note to self: Add that question to the list.
One of those times was summer/fall of 2003 – when working on my MFA. The research I completed over that summer was self-driven, no mentorship, committee or academic advisor. Once again, had questions that I couldn’t really articulate but HAD to find answers for.
Looking back, clearly, I was looking for logic in all the wrong places.
Just recently I discovered that what I was doing that summer mirrored the (brilliant) work of David Flynn. When somebody sent me a copy of his book – I was amazed as I had compiled much of the same information in my own research.
However – he was writing a book. I was not.
While Flynn’s research found coherence in another dimension – mine got stuck in the “rational.” His work found the answers – my work just left me staring at ever-increasing stacks of research with more questions. Flynn found that while the (demonic) codex manifests in this world (particularly in the arts) the source is NOT of this dimension. The answers can only be found if we step outside the “rational” or and understand that there is another intelligence that resides in a dimension parallel to this one.
Although this intelligence claims to be superior to us, they are anything but. They cannot create, they can only imitate. The darkness imitates the light of the Lord but really is all about hacking (stealing) ours. That this intelligence is evil-genius, completely depraved, regards all living things as chattel, are master thieves, murderers, liars, destructive and toxic to humans.
THOSE are the glasses that must be on to even begin to see the world for what it really is. I didn’t get mine until 2009
This quest consumed me for two years, and I never did get the answer. I do have a nice collection of useless books though.
While I was compiling mountains of research on an integrated (academic) platform cross-discipline survey of the language of symbol, myth, legend, anthropology, theology, Greek, Hebrew, Latin, philosophy, epistemology, prolegomena, literature, architecture, economics, science, archeology, and (take a breath) and archetypes?
I had a two-year-old with downs syndrome, three teenagers (two of which I home-schooled) and a violent husband. So the question remains–
Why would anybody in that situation give a rat’s ass about Schopenhauer, Kierkegaard, Plato, Aristotle, Barfield, Frye, Kaku, Freud, Blake, Burke, Barth, Campbell, Frazier, or Jung (etc etc etc) while caring for a very sick baby who spent more time in my lap than anywhere else? Why would anybody want to fight PILES of BOOKS, journal articles and papers spread out all over their life while assisting teenagers with Mom’s taxi-cab services to a never-ending list of sports, educational and social activities?
Who reads “Philosophic Foundations of Quantum Mechanics” while spooning rice cereal into a special needs infant in a high chair? Who does that?
I guess I have never met anyone who understood these things about me – not sure I understand it myself. I dunno – but sure could have used a friend.
Yet?? How in the world could I ever fit in with people who were all about building their castles and bank accounts, going out to dinner, getting their hair /nails done, vacations, tanning beds & shopping? Not that these things are wrong – I’ve worked as a mortgage broker, I like getting my hair done, tanning beds are a quiet place to think, and who doesn’t love a good meal at a quirky restaurant?
I look back now and not sure whether to smile or scream.
What I needed was a Godly academic advisor, but I could not find it where I was attending graduate school. Seriously, what did I expect for $600.00 per credit hour to attend American’s premiere “Christian” Freemason School of Insanity in their pilot MFA program? (Sarcasm intended)
Only the devil could come up with such a scam and pull it off so brilliantly! Posing as a Christian university to destroy the opposition. In my innocence, I PAID top dollar to attend what I thought was a Spirit Filled University. What I got was a SATANIC money pit, staffed by LUCIFERIAN professors, which means that I was (along with several others) marginalized, victimized, traumatized and criticized by liars, thieves & murderers.
What I got for all that time, money and work? Was to helplessly watch as tenured professors pirated my artistic work(s) then found myself subsequently (viciously) blackballed.
However, that’s not the worst of it – what they did, what they really did? Was ruthlessly MURDER my artist. I have never been able to recover from that.
At least not yet.
Need to take a break here – a cup of tea would be nice.
Later – about 1:00pm
I did learn something tho. Best lessons are also the hardest.
I learned that the ahem, “experts,” whose satanically-charged theories, philosophies and criticisms that presently fill university library shelves with self-important blather (aka classical education)? Were, for the most part, arrogant Luciferians (psychopaths) whose whole agenda was to DENY the existence of Jesus Christ. And? This is called scholarship.
In fact, they go out of their way to prove the Almighty God is either dead, evil or useless.
Example: Sigmund Freud – a coke addict whose works are basically the ramblings of a drug addict on a rant! Freud’s writings, outside of the ridiculous perspective on sexuality and behavior? Freud (Fraud) advocated that cocaine was the answer to all things wrong with humanity! The writings of this madman are now the basis of training those who interface with the soul and spirit of the very IMAGE of GOD.
Example: Carl Jung, while writing “Answer to Job” by his own admission, said that this work, (where he accused God of being evil because he was unfair to Job) had been dictated to him by a small creature who sat on the headboard of his bed when he was deathly ill. This book is called “Jung’s most profound work” by many – including some church leaders. If while in the academic world, someone like me just happens to notice that this is EVIL (even while at a *Christian* university?) You WILL be silenced. Immediately if not sooner.
Example: Darwin’s evolution – now the basis of biology, which is the basis of medicine. We now trust our bodies, the very TEMPLE of the HOLY SPIRIT to strangers with an overpriced education who believe we are at best, monkeys. Even though there is NO SCIENTIFIC FACT to prove this theory, these robots pump out bills, pills and bad advice at $200.00 an hour. Why are they NOT treating the body with the respect due to the very IMAGE OF THE CREATOR?
And on and on and on . . .
Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind. 18 For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.
That explains it, doesn’t it? After all of that education- I was more clueless than ever. Of course – this all leads up to the great crash and burn of 2006 -2009.
What if. . . this internal drive TO KNOW was (among other things) prompting from the Lord? What if it was those on the inside crying out, translated into trips to the library? Perhaps the Lord allowed me to eliminate the half-truths on those shelves, to enable me to give voice to the REAL truth, HIS Truth. The Truth about the DID?
I need to digest this for a minute. Be right back.
Thanks to the (dis)information age – we can now access copious amounts of poisoned knowledge from libraries worldwide – not to mention the tons of voices vying for an audience on YouTube, etc.
Funny thing tho – a brief survey quickly exposes that the NEW lies are STILL the same OLD lies wrapped in a different format.
Ironically, the dis-information age happened concurrently with the truth movement!
NOW that’s funny.
Okay – back.
Heidi . . .do you feel like talking now?
(anxiety just grabbed the back of my throat)
Uh oh . . . . it’s Censor. (Why does the name Censori keep occurring to me?) Are there more than one? I speak out loud but my voice is all wrong.
Censori . . .did you know that everybody has a Censor?
My voice – doesn’t even sound like mine – is it possible to be disassociated from your own voice? So weird but I keep talking anyway.
Being a Censor, is a very important job! Without you, chances are I would be in the “happy-house” with a Thorazine lobotomy, weaving baskets . . .
You have been a very good friend to me, for you have helped me to learn to be wise (at least most of the time) in my speech. Imagine what it would be like if I went running around telling people what I really think about them, lol – or worse yet – about some of what we know, huh? So. . .thank you for this.
Censori, you should know, that unlike other people that have NOT been through what we have been through? YOU have been beefed up – you are censorship on STERIODS because of your programming? I know that this is difficult for you –
(I am overwhelmed with shaking, trembling, emotional tsumani)
Father, in the name of Jesus I am asking you now to help Censor relax – our poor heart is just quaking.
(deep breathing here – trying to get a hold of runaway emotions – breathe in Jesus, breathe out fear) Psalm 27:1 comes to mind.
Censor, even if it’s wrong – they deserve a voice. Can you agree with this? (yes).
Father, I am asking you to override Censor’s program in order for Heidi to speak. Is that okay with you Censor? (yes). (a few more deep breaths).
Okay then – Heidi you’re up.
NOTE: This is what I “saw” when Heidi first came up a few days prior to this writing. These images below are doodles that I did trying to get a handle on what was going on inside. It doesn’t always come in whole pieces – sometimes it is a glimpse here, and a glimpse there. If I TRY to get more – it will fade to black, every time. If I allow it just to flow – it will come out. Sometimes while doing something totally unrelated – boom. I have learned to be patient. IF I have asked the Lord for help? Then faith says it will happen, but in HIS time, not mine.
I added a few labels – not trying to be an artist here, just trying to get it out of my head and on the page. I called this ahem, masterpiece, “Heidi’s” chair because this is her perception of it. Heidi has also seen UNDER the chair.
BTW – they don’t need all this now, they can send anybody with a small handheld device that resembles a palm pilot.
As the memories of the chair came up? They were in photographic detail.
The chair (obviously) uses electromagnetism, harmonics and light frequencies. They administered drugs before they put her in the chair – I saw vials of amphetamines, Dramamine and what was possibly low dose radiation. Pretty sure that some of what I was feeling today WAS body memory from the drugs.
There were other drugs as well – but not sure what I was looking at.
They will not let the children eat, because they don’t want them to throw up. ( I mean, don’t want to risk getting vomit on all that expensive technology). In addition, Heidi’s memories include overhearing a discussion about a “successful run” which I took it to mean the information/data that the children bring back – the children get a lot of praise for “successful runs.”
Her head, arms & legs are strapped down while electrodes are fastened to her ankles, arms, head, knee joints, back of the neck, the base of the spine – I will spare you the gruesome details. I can’t believe they would do this to a CHILD.
The lights flash in sequences – patterns – lights are different colors – but very very intense in fact, painfully so.
(NOTE: Murphy: The light patterns are to create a fractal key to match/hack /unlock a timecode to a 4th-dimensional door)
Low and high tones blast out of powerful speakers on both sides of her head – while the chair begins to hum, vibrate as they administer low volts of current through the electrodes. Lights are racing around the body, up the spine & around the head while other equipment is moving around the chair as well – wonder if these are fans because it gets very very hot.
I have to BREATHE. I take several deep breaths, doesn’t work. Going to lay down for a few.
Although I am still trembling, something just shifted inside – a strong image of a little girl flashes across my mind – she has long red-gold hair pulled off her face in a ponytail – little wisps of hair frame a small face with big blue eyes, golden skin and a dusting of freckles across her nose.
(What is happening here is like an “interface” of sorts – it is like walking on a foot-bridge sometimes you are one side, other times you are on the other, and sometimes you can see both sides at once)
While the image of the child is gone – I think I may be seeing through her eyes. This time, it’s very strange because this kind of “seeing” is NOT through the eyes, nor is it in the “mind’s eye’ but much deeper – perhaps remembering with the heart?
What “we” see defies description. Clearly, we are in another dimension. There a curtain with numbers that are running up and down it. (think Matrix Rain)
The curtain opens, we go through it.
We are looking down at what appears to be a flat map of the world – we can also see several square digital clocks (military time?) – but some of the numbers are weird. (They don’t look like numbers that I recognize).
(NOTE: Murphy says we are seeing “Time Code” and they can (and do) hack it)
Suddenly I KNOW that we are standing just outside of the dimension of time – look down, see a HUGE wheel – slowly turning clockwise, sporadically sputters then jumps – spins a little faster, then slows back down.
It’s like something isn’t working right – like a car that backfires.
We enter – once inside, there are sheets of what look like honeycombs everywhere – at once I understand that these are dimensions within dimensions – and there are trillions of them. It’s overwhelming – (no words to describe) As I try to make sense out of it – I understand down deep within me, that every person ever born has a dimension (address?) within this dimension.
Besides the honeycombs – there is something that looks like three cogs within the wheel. The past (cog) is a dimension, the future (cog) is a dimension and the present (cog) is a dimension – these cogs are also turning each in their own path. Altogether, it’s like a big machine or even the insides of a clock.
(This image defies understanding – the best I can do is describe it. Heidi impresses upon me that this is why they sent children – because when they sent adults, they went crazy)
Space does not work the same here – you cannot “walk” from one place to another. Just the same, there is movement – a lot of movement! Everything seems to be moving in one way or another! It is connected/created by the currents, which are like waves, and there are many of them.
These waves (currents) wrap themselves – around and through the “cogs,” like belts in a car engine. The currents are always moving . . . and are somewhat transparent, although they can be quite visible at times. Although they connect everything – and all of them flow in the same direction – to what Heidi calls .”the ocean.”
(my head is really beginning to throb – getting very dizzy again.)
Thought also creates movement here – (for instance, when people remember the past? They are in fact, interfacing with this dimension.) You can actually see this – when people are thinking about the past – these thoughts kind of look like ropes looping down from the sky.
Because Heidi has been SENT into this dimension – she had to learn how to use (control) thoughts, which get her from place to place – thoughts also manifest in this dimension as forms- some look very real, some look like shadows, some look like (transparent to opaque) holograms.
In this dimension, your own thoughts can kill you.
Heidi is only too aware of the danger – not only must she control her own thoughts – she must stay away from the forms – she also knows to NEVER EVER get too close to the honeycombs. She says they are sticky, you will get stuck and can’t get out.
(This makes sense to me – i.e getting “stuck” in the past).
Sometimes it is “the others” that pull you around.
Who are the others?
*shrugs* I dunno. The others.
I get the impression that “the others” are many things, some of it not so good.
Oh wow! I’m seeing that some in this dimension are HOLY angels. They protect, block, deny access – and have helped Heidi. They have taught her a lot, they also have fought for her on more than one occasion.
Heidi says that time is a dimension that exists outside of eternity. It is NOT a nice place – in fact, is rather cold, ugly and dirty. Heidi was told that this place was brought forth in the dark waters . . .
( I am sooo tired. Feel really weird. I want to take a break – but strangely COMPELLED to keep going).
Looks like a corridor/tube that spirals downhill. The “corridors” are interconnected, and there are untold numbers of them.
(NOTE: Murphy says that these are “cycles,” and as each cycle repeats? it carries a more powerful, amplified version of itself)
NOTE Here is a 30-second sketch to try to describe it. I did have a more detailed sketch at the time of this writing – the sketches seemed to of disappeared. Go figure – anyway – again, this is not about accuracy or artistic merit – just trying to give you a glimpse.
Everything in the corridors seems to be made of rock, brass & iron. There is light at the beginning of the corridor – but as you go down, the darkness seems to take on form – like a substance. It is an oppressive, humid, moldy darkness that wrestles against the light.
Again, very difficult to describe
There are doors! So many doors. All different sizes. Some are normal, some are like garage doors. Some are giant doors – huge. Some are really tiny. Different colors. Some are rusty, some have cobwebs hanging from them. Some are suspended in the sky. Some are in the concrete. Some are covered with gold.
CLEARLY, she has been sent into some of these rooms – I can feel her anxiety.
(The idea of going into the rooms causes my teeth to chatter)
Something that looks like 1/2″ PVC pipes line the walls of the corridor – as you walk down the corridor – you notice the pipes are frozen – icy if you touch them. As you go down, the walls begin to change, begins to look more like a cave, walls are cut out of rock – but the pipes are still there.
Windows shaped like honeycombs – octagons with thick glass is set into the rocks – kind of like a museum. When you look in, you can see people, doing all manner of things, from all times – you can tell by the way they are dressed.
As she descends, the size of the loops in the spiral corridor keep getting smaller – until you get to the bottom.
Heidi – why did they send you into this place?
They want you to get stuff for them. They sent us to get stuff from the bottom rooms. It is dark and scary there – icky things there. Some of the stuff was with the bad ones.
Who are the “bad ones?”
(At this point, my body starts shaking, my stomach clenches)
Heidi: They have lots of names. Jesus says that they are the fallen ones, and they hurt people. They STEAL everything, even babies. They keep the stolen stuff down here, with them.
All of a sudden we are now at the very bottom of the corridor, it opens up into a countryside like setting. It’s very beautiful and a welcome change from the dark, musty corridors.
(my stomach stops jumping – but still kind of shaky, queasy)
Heidi tells me that she loves this place. If she has to be here, this is the safest.
All of a sudden we are standing in front of another cog
In this cog, we are standing on a beach, looking out over an ocean, there is a STORM raging. Rivers (currents) feed into it from every direction – which creates HUGE waves that are constantly moving, changing – there is something like (geometric?) shapes bobbing around in the waves, hard to make out.
NOTE: These are future timelines – probabilities. In spite of what the neo-pagan existentialists want to preach. it is the future dictates the past. It’s all in the same container and it all happens at the same time! An example of this – The Lamb of God slain from the creation of the World. Revelation 13:8
Example #2: All of creation is waiting for the sons of God to be revealed – this is why so many of us have been attacked and targeted since birth. Clearly, He knows the plans He has for you – and the devil can see Jesus on you, and has done everything to hack you, steal from you and destroy you since the day you were born. Reminder – YOU ARE MORE THAN A CONQUEROR IN CHRIST JESUS
Anyway . . .
In the distance, on the other side – there is something like a sandy beach – the feeling is like when a drowning man spots land – the relief is tangible. This is the final destination.
NOTE: Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears
Is like an intersection – (four-way stop with eight roads) that meet in a circular area. There are doors in this dimension too. These doors are open – for the most part. There are shadows and holograms everywhere. Some are very scary to her.
NOTE: Just this year, I have on several occasions had dreams where this place got very busy, people intersecting with time and each other. Very interesting.
I just finished the dishes after dinner – and here it comes, random hot tears up the back of my throat. I walk out of the kitchen, heading for a quiet place to figure out what is happening.
The weeping continues for a while – it’s Heidi, she is sobbing.
I ask what’s wrong. I keep hearing this –
“Something went wrong”
I don’t think this is coming from Heidi, but rather people in the room with her. I see chaos – people running all over the place – they are scurrying like rats.
Heidi is now no longer in the room, but rather what looks like biblical Israel. She seems to have ended up in the time when Jesus walked the earth.
She smiles as she tells me that this time is blocked off from “them,” but somehow, she got through.
I watch her as she runs towards a man who is a very strong, extremely muscular man. He has brown curly hair and blue eyes. He has a warm smile, strong white teeth and tanned skin.
(Tears are flowing freely now)
She knows Him, calls Him Rabbi. He opens his arms to her, she runs into them. He laughs and hugs her – I watch as He holds out his hand, and she examines His hands carefully. Not the scars so much, but something else. She is looking for something. He is patient until she finds it tucked in his hands then such joy overtakes them both. I thought it was a treat, but instead, it is her name!
He then takes her little face in both hands, then blows on her hair. She giggles, then whispers something in his ear. He throws His head back, his laughter is everything anybody could ever want.
This is Heidi’s Abba. He looks up, turns His gaze to me – forever. He is my Abba too.
I am still weeping, but this time, it is tears of joy. Dear Lord, help me to remember this moment always and forever.
I can’t be sure, what happened here. Either Heidi died and was revived, which happens ALL the time or she was accidentally sent to the wrong time.
When she came back, they wanted to exploit this – tried to send her back. They wanted her to do something, and she didn’t do it. She WOULD NOT do it. I can’t see what “it” was – it’s blocked. They tortured her for this – terrible things.
I am glad we can’t see it, I don’t have too, I just know. I can feel it to this day.
Heidi wants me to know that one of their major goals of time travel?
Was to STOP JESUS CHRIST.
The children – are the only ones who can get through (past the angelic guard)? I am laughing with delight! HOW AWESOME IS THAT?? (But wait – this is why they use them? WOW) How stupid – did they really think that the children could get past the Love of Jesus Christ? The children BELONG to Him.
(My body hurts. Aching. Cold. More welts on my arms, head)
They MADE her go to the crucifixion over and over and over, they mocked her when she cried – told her that Jesus was dead, and she needed to accept it and do as she is told. Except . . . Heidi knows that Jesus is ALIVE.
She will NEVER give over to them. EVER.
There is more to this, but I have to stop now – my heart is pounding, I feel like I am going to be sick.
(Can’t sleep. Photographic images are jumping through my mind. I saw the crucifixion through Heidi’s eyes, the WHOLE thing – don’t know how – but she was there – she saw the weather, the people, the SMELL – she saw the soldiers, the blood, the puke, the screams, the weeping – everything )
For Heidi, who has been tortured over and over again, this was more trauma, but their tactics worked the opposite of what they wanted.
It didn’t break her, it strengthened her.
Heidi KNOWS that Jesus understands torture, he cab understand her like nobody else. SHE KNEW that when they hurt her? He is right there with her ALWAYS.
They CANNOT TAKE THIS AWAY from her. Not now, Not then NOT EVER.
Jesus is Heidi’s hero. They cannot program that out of her. They can’t change it. They’ve tried and they’ve failed.
Our names are written on the palms of His hands.
He has made her a promise – that He HIMSELF will come for her. She waits for Him, and there is NOTHING they could do to her to change that.
I am waiting too.
Now we wait together.
MONDAY June 15, 2015 5pm
Peace returns and Mulberry jammin happens.